Sunday, August 29, 2010

Starting Again

Back in France...back to the realities, both good and bad, that exist in our life here. This, combined with having such a fun-FAMILY-filled visit to the States, have made me a little melancholy lately. I was expecting the "lows" so I've been working hard to keep from descending too far into my self-indulgent "poor me" mentality.

To ward off descending into the abyss, before our suitcases were unpacked from the States, I booked a two day trip to Carcassonne in the west of France. We jokingly called it our "vacation for Scout" (since she was left in France for a month while we were away). The dumb dog got to walk around the beautiful "castle city" with us and even was allowed to watch a reenactment of knights with horses ( the French and their dogs...the dogs can go anywhere and everywhere). It was a nice enough trip with just our family and a perfect way to ignore the phone not ringing at our houses and the "what do you want to do now" question that sometimes creates major arguments in our living room.

After our little trip, we had a perfectly timed visit from longtime, wonderful friends from the US. Just having them around the house perked me right up. They were totally happy to be beach bums for two beautiful days (having just come off a butt-kicking hike through the Pyrenees in Spain), so they were easy to entertain and even more fun to cook for! During one very long dinner three bottles of wine were consumed between the four of us!

But now we're back to just us...in Toulon...work began again for Phil...school starts this week for Lily...playschool starts for Zack...and I'm still trying figure out what the heck I'm going to do with myself...I am so willing to work hard so I can improve my French...but for what purpose???

As I sat on the eternal, trans-atlantic flight back here I kept telling myself that this fall (as opposed to last fall when we were first arriving), should be different. We won't have to spend every evening searching for housing. We won't have to spend every evening trying to understand cell phone and banking contracts. I understand*a little* about the school Lily is going to. I understand *a little* about Zachary's creche. I can speak enough to get my point across*usually*. So, now what??? I'm stressing a bit, (and sometimes) a lot, about what "living", truly living, in France will look like for me. I must "profiter" from living here---a French word/expression that I love more than the English one (take advantage of/maximize). But how?
And where do I start?

As the month of new beginnings starts for everyone in my family, I'm praying and trusting there will be a new adventure for me to begin as well.